 remembering you - the sparkle of this last icicle  this icicle - there is no shortcut to enlightenment |
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On January 15, the cold spell is slowly getting better,
ONLY MINUS THREE CENTIGRADE
global warming -
the cold outside
reminds me
Ice, Icicle (koori, tsurara) KIGO
. . . Read my Haiku Archives 2009
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12 comments:
Solid post. In particular, I like the haiku. Very nice.
D.
nice Gabi,
G.
Dazzling.
B.
this icicle -
there is no shortcut
to enlightenment
Gabi
Nice ones, Gabi. And such a gorgeous, deep blue sky!
S.
Wonderful work. I really like both of these haiku. Nice.
D.
Both of them are lovely. I wondered about trimming the second one a little? 'icicle' is such a wonderful word and worls so well on a line of its own, as you show in the first one. And perhaps both 'this' and 'there' adds a touch of didacticism that the haiku doesn't need?
icicle -
there is no shortcut
to enlightenment
And there'd be a lovely 'bookend' feel to them as a pair too:
icicle
there is no shortcut
to enlightenment
remembering you
the sparkle of this last
icicle
Some ideas, some play.
L.
................................
thanks for your thoughts.
I am not a great friend of minimalist english haiku.
And here, I prefer the THIS, since it is not just any icicle but this particular one, I am even tempted to put an exclamation mark at the end
this icicle !
it was just soooooooooo special when it caught me with its shine for just a second
Sometimes we use THIS as a means to translate the japanese kireji to emphasize the word in question.
Gabi
this icicle -
there is no shortcut
to enlightenment
gorgeous ... with the photo its just right ! ... enlightenment is fabulous juxtaposed against shorcut - i couldnt think of a better alternative ..
its like its 'just so' - that enlightenment has tapped you on the shoulder as you look at the wonders of nature ...
E.
Gabi san,
It is my understanding that enlightenment is unpredictable (or else we would have some set of verifiable processes and accompanying procedures that when followed guaranteed enlightenment), given that we do not, is it then in error to say that there is no shortcut to enlightenment?
Historically, there is evidence that enlightenment can come to anyone at any time (I sight the example of child-Buddhas, although, some believe this path was long in the number of incarnations). Therefore, enlightenment can be instant and/or arduous.
I enjoy very much the photo, poem and comments.
C.
global warming ...
the cold outside
reminds me
I love your haiku! Sometimes i wish Al Gore could be here during our cold snaps.
Gregg
Some might find the sound similarity (sparkle, icicle) distracting.
"glitter" might work if you think that's a problem.
B.
gabi, the icicle photo is wonderful: that face, top right, in profile and another less distinct and slightly extra terrestrial lower to the centre right . . . and who knows how many more would morph before it disappeared.
S. HT.
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