Mother Mosquitoe

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


I watch her
s l o w l y .. sucking my blood -
mother mosquitoe








:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


This one became so dear to me, I just could not swat her off. She left quietly after finishing her meal, and the spot did not itch as much as it usually does ...


.................................................

Actually, the first version of this one was written a few days ago in hospital, when a young unexperienced sister nurse tried her hand at my veins ... only later, when this mosquito choose almost the same spot for her action, it clicked again



I watch her
s l o w l y sucking my blood -
sister Mosquito




... Mosquitoes (ka 蚊) ... a KIGO

Comments from HH

hey Gabi, I like how you stretched out "slowly"

.....

Oh, a beautiful moment, Gabi...
(I've done this -- once or twice, lol!)

.....

Lovely GABI!
I like the way you've done it!

.....

Hi Gabi. I can't think of anything else that I would watch "slowly sucking my blood" so L3 seems rather obvious. If your remove "my blood" I think your 'ku will pack more of a punch ...

I watch her
slowly sucking ...
mother mosquito

... now I see a baby at the breast in the first two lines - suddenly transformed in the third.

.....

a s l o w rise
to the bump --
blood plump "ka"

INSPIRATIONAL as USUAL dear Gabi san

知美

.............................................


Read my Haiku Archives 2007


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::