8/14/2007

Mother Mosquitoe

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I watch her
s l o w l y .. sucking my blood -
mother mosquitoe









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This one became so dear to me, I just could not swat her off. She left quietly after finishing her meal, and the spot did not itch as much as it usually does ...


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Actually, the first version of this one was written a few days ago in hospital, when a young unexperienced sister nurse tried her hand at my veins ... only later, when this mosquito choose almost the same spot for her action, it clicked again



I watch her
s l o w l y sucking my blood -
sister Mosquito





... Mosquitoes (ka 蚊) ... a KIGO

Comments from HH

hey Gabi, I like how you stretched out "slowly"

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Oh, a beautiful moment, Gabi...
(I've done this -- once or twice, lol!)

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Lovely GABI!
I like the way you've done it!

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Hi Gabi. I can't think of anything else that I would watch "slowly sucking my blood" so L3 seems rather obvious. If your remove "my blood" I think your 'ku will pack more of a punch ...

I watch her
slowly sucking ...
mother mosquito


... now I see a baby at the breast in the first two lines - suddenly transformed in the third.

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a s l o w rise
to the bump --
blood plump "ka"

INSPIRATIONAL as USUAL dear Gabi san

知美

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Read my Haiku Archives 2007


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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I was so inspired by your haiku !

I am still moved by your haiku. I know you were capturing the mmoment of noticing the mosquito on your arm and her slow sucking but I see something else.
I see incredible kindness in your heart.

Perhaps you hesitated for a moment before swatting her off?

a friends in haiku

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