autumn butterflies -
a final dance from
light to shadow
光から陰へのダンス 秋の蝶
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It was amazing to see the two little yellow ones suddenly disappear, when a cloud covered the late autumn sun and the valley fell into deep darkness ... all of a sudden.
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................. DUTCH translation:
herfstvlinders -
een finale dans van
licht naar schaduw
Geert Verbeke
................. Scots translation:
hairst butteries -
a hinmaist jig frae
licht tae sheddae
John McDonald
................. Romanian translation:
fluturi in octombrie-
dansul final dintre
lumina si umbra
Vasile Moldovan
................. French Translation:
des papillons d'automne---
dans une dernière danse
la lumière devient ombre
Keith A. Simmonds
Thanks to all my friends from WonderHaikuWorlds for the translations !
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Some friends thought the use of FINAL was too much of a personification here, leading to the death of the butterflies ...
I used it to mean the final moment for myself,
when I could not see them any more, after watching them for about two minutes, they simply vanished in mid-air when the late sunshine stopped to fall on them and they were ... gone, invisible, it was final for me ...
If you extend the meaning of FINAL as seen of the life of the butterfly, this is a different way of interpretation
(I might have intended or not ;) ).
This is a scene I can only observe in late autumn sunshine and enjoy every year to the fullest !
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Issa and world fellows Display in Tokyo
Nakamura Sakuo Special Exhibition
February 2008
Butterflies (choochoo) KIGO
Read my Haiku Archives 2007
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秋の蝶をめったに見ませんが、何とも
ReplyDelete切ない季語ですね。
sakuo.
It's an amazing haiku. My congratulations Gabi!
ReplyDeleteGasho
I too have noticed a few yellow butterfiles, now and then, on my noon
ReplyDeletewalks. Sometimes I do tai chi under a few old oaks, and, even in
this dry spell, a few yellow butterflies demonostrate a finer grace
to attain with their movements.
Your fine haiku, Gabi san, has given me pause to compose:
autumn butterfly --
the flow of tai chi steps
wave-hands-like-clouds
ai... chibi
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cherrypoetryclub/message/31996
The evanescent nature of things and beauty in particular...
ReplyDeletewell-portrayed, Gabi!
Keith A. Simmonds
http://www.wonderhaikuworlds.com/viewdetail.php?post=2570&type=1